Broken Hearts
by Sydney47
Summary: Pre-Full Disclosure, Lauren dies, leaving Vaughn to mourn for her. Will he and Sydney ever be able to restart their relationship?
1. Wearying Thoughts

**A/N**: Since this is pre-Full Disclosure, no one knows that Lauren's the mole... yet. Please review and enjoy.

_Wearying Thoughts_

"All right, I won't wait up then… I love you too. Bye."

Vaughn sighed as he hung up the phone. Lauren wouldn't be getting back from her conference in D.C. until late that night, so he would be going to bed alone. Again.

It seemed that ever since Sydney had returned from the dead, he and Lauren had hardly spent any time together outside of work. Not to mention that things had been tense between them anyway with Sydney back in Vaughn's life. Vaughn was internally torn between the two women, but of course he stayed faithful to his marriage. However, he couldn't help the fact that he still had feelings for Sydney, feelings so deep that he started having dreams about her – dreams that he hadn't had since he had started seeing Lauren. It was plainly evident to Lauren that Vaughn's mind was constantly on Sydney, and she tried to be fair and respect that they had a history together. Of course, she worried about that history overtaking the present. So, she tried to make the most of the time that she spent with Vaughn, at least when work didn't get in the way, which wasn't often. However, during the times that she was with him alone, she felt awkward and angry that she had to stoop to competing with another woman for attention from her own husband.

Alone for the night, Vaughn decided to just relax and catch a hockey game. He turned on the TV, but he soon found that his mind was wandering. His life had never been simple once Sydney had entered the picture – having to allay her distrust of him when they first met, getting to know each other solely through covert meetings, developing a love for each other that neither could outwardly recognize without serious repercussions, that love being set free, but their moments constantly interrupted by their jobs, and finally a supposed death severing their connection. But even all of that paled in comparison to the situation now. Sydney had returned to life like a phoenix out of ashes only to find the man she loved married to someone else. And admittedly, no matter his current marital status, he still loved her too. Talk about complicated.

Despite everything Vaughn had – and lost – with Sydney, he had found love again with Lauren. When he felt like he was dying from grief, she appeared and brought him back to life. She gave his world hope and meaning again. She helped him cope with the pain of his loss and gave him something to fill the hole left in his heart – her unconditional love. However, he had occasionally found himself comparing what he had in his relationship with Lauren to his thoughts of what he would be having if Sydney were still alive. The two were extremely different, there was no question about that. While early in their relationship, he and Sydney had to mask their feelings for each other, he and Lauren had always been open, making things go a lot smoother. However, the enormous amount of tension between him and Sydney had caused its resolution to be that much greater, something that he missed in his relationship with Lauren. He had subconsiously tried to decide which relationship he would rather be in, but he had failed, most likely because in reality, he hadn't want to decide. Sydney was dead, and thinking about what could have or should have been would only serve to torture him. But he still loved her too much. He had been willing to go through the pain of thinking of what he could have had to fufill his heart's desire.

And now, with Sydney back again, the question was coming up more frequently. But, even with the difficulties he and Lauren were having, he wouldn't just up and leave her without a second thought.

Vaughn finally shook his head to clear his thoughts. He sighed helplessly. He couldn't keep doing this to himself. It was late, and he was tired from all of his thinking, so he decided to go to bed.

He was awakened a few hours later by the sound of the phone. It took him several moments to fumble for it in the dark.

"Hello?" he asked groggily.

"Mr. Vaughn, this is Officer Nielson. I'm sorry to inform you that your wife was in a car accident. She's at the hospital."

"Oh my god! I'll be right there."

He hurridly got dressed and quickly made his way to the hospital.

He was informed that Lauren was still in the ER and was directed to her room.

Just as he was about to enter, a doctor came out and addressed him.

"Mr. Vaughn?"

"Yes. How is she?" he asked hurridly.

"Mr. Vaughn… She suffered severe head trauma. We did all that we could for her, but I'm afraid she died. I'm so sorry." He patted Vaughn's shoulder in brief comfort and then took his leave.

Vaughn stood there in complete shock.

Lauren was dead.

_TBC_


	2. A Death's Toll

_A Death's Toll_

Vaughn couldn't believe this was happening. His wife was dead. His world was spinning out of control. He leaned his back against the door to Lauren's room and ran a hand through his hair and down his face. He swallowed his tears as he tried to retain his composure. He wasn't very successful. The woman he loved – _one_ of the women he loved – was now a lifeless corpse. At that moment, Vaughn wanted to just curl up into a ball and die. He didn't know if he had the strength to go through another death of someone he loved. But he had to be strong now. He had to see his wife for the last time.

He breathed out deeply, some unrestrained tears falling down his cheeks, and entered her room. Seeing the figure of his wife under a white sheet made his stomach turn. Tears were falling freely now as he lifted the sheet to look at her face. Her head was wrapped in gauze, blood having seeped through, and several cuts marred her features. But, she was still so beautiful to him. He ran his hand through her hair and leaned down to kiss her lips. He wanted to shake her and scream at her to respond. Instead he kneeled down next to her and whispered softly into her ear, "I love you, Lauren." Tears still blurring his vision, he rose and left the room.

Vaughn had no idea what to do now or where to go. He certainly didn't want to go back to his empty house filled with now painful memories. So he decided to just drive around until he found some relief from this torturous night. Soon, he found his way to bar and dragged himself inside.

A few hours later, he stumbled back to his car, much more relaxed and relieved at this moment. Deep down, he knew that he shouldn't be driving, but after this night, he really didn't care. And anyway, it was nearly four o'clock in the morning, so practically no one would be out on the street right now, he reasoned. Ironically, drunk as he was, Vaughn was the one who made it home safely, not Lauren. He inwardly laughed at his luck, but perhaps it was really his misfortune, he thought.

He dragged himself inside and decided that a few more beers wouldn't hurt. Soon after, he mercifully fell asleep, or more like passed out on his couch.

There was a depressing briefing at the Ops Center later that morning. Sydney, Jack, Marshall, and Weiss all listened respectfully to Dixon as he passed on the news.

"Last night, there was a car accident. Lauren Reed was killed. There will be a memorial service next week."

The room was full of shocked silence.

"Where's Vaughn?" Sydney piped up, immediately concerned for him.

"He's at home. He obviously won't be coming in today."

They were all dismissed to go back to work. But Sydney could hardly concentrate; she was too worried about Vaughn. How was he handling this latest tragedy? Was he going to be all right? What could he possibly be doing right now?

Sydney was so distracted that she was hardly accomplishing anything at work, and so she decided to leave early. When she left, she immediately drove to Vaughn's house. She understood all too well the pain he must be feeling again, and she only hoped that she could somehow help him through it.

When she reached his house, she knocked on his door. There was no response.

"Vaughn?" she called. "It's Sydney. Are you there?" Still nothing.

She tried the door knob, and surprisingly found it unlocked. She entered quietly, scanning the room for Vaughn. She spotted him on the couch, staring blankly into empty space. She made her way to him through the empty beer bottles that littered the floor and sat next to him, regarding him worriedly.

He had in his hand a picture of Lauren holding a small plush bear. He didn't even acknowledge that Sydney was there, but he just started speaking absently in a broken voice. "We went to a carnival last year. She spotted this bear hanging from one of the booths and decided that she wanted me to win it for her. It cost eight dollars worth of balls to knock all of those damn pins down, but I won it. She was so happy. So… alive…"

"Vaughn?" Sydney spoke softly. "Vaughn," she said louder as she shook him a little. "Michael, look at me."

He finally turned his head towards her and stared at her through pain stricken eyes.

"Oh Vaughn…" she whispered touching his cheek softly. "It's going to be all right."

He pulled back roughly from her touch. "You don't know that!" he whispered harshly.

"Vaughn, you've pulled through everything you've come to face. You'll get through this too. I know it'll be hard, but you can do it."

"I nearly died when I lost you, Sydney. How am I supposed to go through this again!"

"You can let me help you. You don't have to do it alone."

"I… I don't think you should help me with this, Syd."

"What? Why not? I know you'd do it for me, Vaughn, and I want to help you too."

"It's just that…" He trailed off, and then suddenly pulled her to him in a rough kiss.

Sydney could taste the alcohol in his breath. She had no idea what he thought he was doing, so she pulled back sharply.

"Vaughn! Wha—"

He took a deep breath. "I loved my wife. But, I still love you, Sydney. I can't keep my thoughts away from you; I couldn't even when I was married. I can't mourn for my wife when all I can think about is loving you."

"Vaughn…" she murmured. "I… I lov—"

"Please don't," he broke in, pressing his fingers to her lips. "Don't say it. It'll just make things harder." He sighed. "I think you should leave."

Sydney stared at him through narrowed, hurt eyes. She wanted to say more to him, but she thought it would be better to talk to him when he was more sober. But, she had to say this.

"Vaughn, if you don't want me to help, let Eric, or a therapist. Just please talk to somebody. You can't torture yourself. I won't let you."

"I'll think about it."

"Vaughn—"

"Please, Syd. I'm tired," he sighed.

"All right," she said quietly. "I'll see you later."

After she left, Vaughn went to the kitchen to drown himself in alcohol once more.

_TBC_


	3. Injured Spirits

_Injured Spirits_

Vaughn was mentally exhausted. His mind was spinning over what he had just done. He had just refused the support of the person he still loved. But, as much as it killed him to admit it, he had been right. How was Sydney supposed to help him through this? Yes, she had had to go through the death of her fiancé and her best friend, so she would know what his pain was doing to him. But there was too much history with her. He knew that he couldn't do justice to his wife's death if his mind was constantly on Sydney. He loved Lauren, and he couldn't dishonor her, even in death. There would be a time when he would be able to pick up the pieces of his broken relationship with Sydney, but it was not now. Now, he had to prepare for his wife's funeral.

He looked at the picture he was holding again. Her bright smile illuminated the photo, something that he would miss in real life. He lightly traced a finger down the image of her cheek as a tear fell and spattered on the frame's glass. He sighed and put the picture face down. He couldn't look at it any longer without having a breakdown.

God, he was so tired of this. Tired of death. He dealt with it nearly every day on the job, but this was much different. _This_ was personal. And this time, he couldn't find anyone to blame. Not even the man who had caused the accident – he was killed too. It seemed that he was fated to always find a spark of happiness, and instead of it turning into a simple, lovely flame it transformed into a raging inferno that violently destroyed everything in its wake. He felt like the flames were engulfing him, burning him, killing him. And there was no one to pull him out. He felt so alone, so disconnected. And that scared him. He had felt this way once before, and he let himself drown in drinks to make the pain stay away. It worked for a time, but it really only served to make a complete mess out of him. Such a god-awful mess that he knew he could never return to it and survive.

He looked around his house and grimaced at the sight of all of the empty bottles. He was falling again, but luckily, he wasn't at the point of no return. He knew what he had to do to get out of this mess. He picked up his phone.

"This is Weiss."

"Hey. It's Vaughn."

Vaughn could hear the sympathy in his voice. "Hey. How are you doing?"

Vaughn sighed. "How do you think I'm doing, Eric?"

"I know," Weiss said softly. "What's up?"

"Do you think you could come over?" He tried not to sound too desperate, but he really needed someone with him right now, if only to see another living person's face.

"Sure, I'll be there in a few minutes."

* * *

Various emotions ran wild through Sydney as she left Vaughn's house. Hurt, angry, disappointed, confused, and even hopeful were only a few. She resented the fact that Vaughn refused her help and support. He had helped her through so many different problems that she doubted she could number them. It was her turn to do the same for him. She couldn't just watch him wallow in his grief. It pained her greatly to see him in such a state. She wanted to help him. But she had no idea how she was going to do that after being told to stay away. She was left defenseless, with no control, and that scared her.

However, through all of the darkness, there was a glimmer of hope. Hope that she and Vaughn would someday be together again. He had told her he still loved her, and she knew it wasn't just the beer talking. She could tell by the look in his eyes. The desire, the longing were still there, just as they were three years ago when they were kept separated by the looming presence of SD-6. They had overcome that obstacle; Sydney knew that they would get through this too. It was only a matter of time and patience. Vaughn had explained to Sydney why he couldn't accept her help, and as much as she didn't want to, she had to respect that. He had to deal with this in the way that he thought best, as long as he didn't hurt himself in the process. And other people would be there for him. She would be there in an instant for him if he sought her help, but as long as he wanted her to stay on the sideline, she would, she resolved.

* * *

Vaughn hung up the phone and yawned. He hadn't gotten much sleep that night, and after spending the entire day on the couch, he felt sluggish and drained. He knew that it was around dinner time, but he couldn't muster up the energy or even the will to cook something for himself. He supposed that he could order in, but he despised the thought of food at the moment. He wasn't hungry, he wasn't satiated, he was just… empty. It was a strange feeling really, something that he had only had to feel a couple times in his life, which were really a couple times too many. It was like he could feel his spirit ceasing to exist, his will and drive in life functioning no more. He felt as he did the last time something like this happened that all of the darkness in the world would just swallow him up, leaving him only with his misery to keep him company. But he wasn't defenseless yet. He was helping himself. He was reaching out.

There was a knock at his door.

"It's open, Weiss," Vaughn called from where he was sitting.

"Hey, Vaughn," Weiss said as he entered the house. He joined Vaughn on the couch. "Do you want to talk?" he asked tentatively.

"About what? About how I feel about being a widower? About how I've lost two people whom I loved in as many years? About how I can feel myself losing the battle to maintain my will to live? Where do _you_ think I should begin?"

Weiss knew that he had to be patient. Vaughn wasn't angry at him so much as the entire world.

"Start wherever you'd like. Or don't start at all. We can talk, we can just sit here, we can do whatever you want. Whatever you feel comfortable with."

"What I'm comfortable with? Do you really think that I'm comfortable with any of this, Weiss!" Vaughn paused and sighed. He knew he couldn't take out his frustration on the only person who was trying to help him right now. "Eric, I'm sorry…"

Weiss shook his head. "I understand. Forget about it… Look, do you want get something to eat? It would beat sitting here all night."

"I'm not very hungry."

"What if I took you to your favorite restaurant. That Italian place you like so much. It'll be my treat." When he didn't receive a response, Weiss pushed around a few empty bottles that were on the floor with his foot, "Come on, I really think you need to get out of here for a few hours."

Vaughn sighed again. He seemed to be doing that often lately. It was as if his entire life had become one big, frustrated sigh. "Fine. I guess we could go."

"Great, let's do it."


	4. Talking and Walking

**A/N**: Here's the next (short) part. Enjoy._  
_

_Talking and Walking_

Placed in front of Vaughn was his favorite dish – vegetable lasagna – from his favorite restaurant, and all he was really doing was pushing it around the plate with his fork. His mind was too preoccupied with the pain he could feel emanating from his heart, overtaking every part of him.

Weiss noticed that Vaughn wasn't eating anything and spoke up. "Mike, you've got to eat something."

"I told you I wasn't hungry," he responded, irritated. "I'm just… tired."

"Look, I know how hard this is for you; I was there for part of the last time until you disappeared. The only way you're going to get through this is by first taking care of yourself. So, eat. Please."

Vaughn hated to hear the pleading tone in Weiss's voice. So, he relented and ate some of his food.

Weiss nodded and went back to his own meal. After a few minutes of silence between them, Vaughn glanced up and spoke softly. "I miss her already."

Weiss look up at him sympathetically. "Yeah," he said, waiting for Vaughn to continue.

"We'd come to places like this and order completely different meals, and then we'd split them. She'd always let me have more of her half than she'd take of mine. It's those stupid little things that I'm always going to remember. It's those things that will remind me of her wherever I am. And it's killing me already." He sighed and looked down.

Weiss gulped. He didn't really know what to say to make Vaughn feel better, but he knew he had to try to say something uplifting. "Those things you remember, they don't have to be negative now. They remind you of what you had, yes, but they also remind you of her. So, maybe she'll always be with you."

"I guess so. I'm just waiting for the pain that goes along with the thought of her to go away. I know and hate that it's going to take a while."

"It's good that you know this is going to take time. Just know that I'm here for you anytime… Although, I'm not sure I'll be much help at three in the morning, but I guess I can try, okay?"

"All right," Vaughn smiled.

* * *

Weiss paid their check and they left the restaurant, opting to take a walk for a while instead of driving home. Vaughn said he needed some fresh air. The roads were mostly quiet, and a few stars could be seen despite the street lights. After a few minutes of walking quietly, Vaughn spoke up again.

"You know, we used to do this together, Lauren and I. Just after we were married, every night after work when we were in town together, we'd take a walk with Donovan. She loved walking under the stars with hardly anyone around but me and the dog. She used to say that this is what she wanted to do most when we both retired – take long walks at night together. It was romantic for her. I just loved being with her."

"Yeah, I have the same type of thing with Allen. Although, I don't have a beautiful wife to walk with, and I'm sure my dog enjoys the walks a whole lot more than I do."

"Thanks, Eric," Vaughn said, making no effort to hide the sarcasm in his voice.

"Uh… no problem. Look, I was just trying to relate, you know—"

"I know." Vaughn stopped. "Let's go back. It's getting late."

"All right. Hey, are you okay?" Weiss regarded him worriedly.

"I'm fine," Vaughn said curtly.

Weiss could tell Vaughn was withdrawing, but he knew that by prodding him he'd only get his head chewed off, so he said nothing.

* * *

Home once more, Vaughn wasn't sure what to do with himself. The last time he had had to do this, it was so easy for him to just to drink until he could forget the pain until it came back some other time. But, he knew he didn't want to start that cycle again, seeing how hard it was to break that habit. He needed to talk to someone, someone other than Eric – someone who had really been through what he was going through now.

"Hi, it's Vaughn. I was wondering if you could come to my place. I want to talk."

He let out a deep breath and closed his eyes as he hung up the phone. All of the reaching out so soon was wearing on him. But he knew it was good for him; at least it was different from when he left everyone he knew behind, isolating himself with his grief.

Half an hour later, he opened his door to the one person he thought would understand his grief the best.

"Hi. Come on in."

_TBC_

**A/N**: Take a guess on whom Vaughn called... (I'm not being sarcastic.) ;-)


	5. A Matter of Choice

**A/N**: Sorry about the wait for this chapter. Enjoy, and please review.

_A Matter of Choice_

_**Previously on ALIAS**: Half an hour later, (Vaughn) opened his door to the one person he thought would understand his grief the best._

"_Hi, come on in."

* * *

_

Dixon nodded and removed his coat as he stepped inside. Vaughn flopped back down onto the couch, waiting for Dixon to join him.

Dixon sat down, faced Vaughn, and spoke quietly. "I assume that you wanted to talk about Lauren."

Vaughn closed his eyes and nodded. "In a way, yes."

"Well… I'm listening." He clasped his hands together and leaned his chin on them as Vaughn prepared himself to speak.

"I just… I have no idea how to even begin getting past this. In some ways, I don't even want to. I loved her so much." Vaughn paused and looked down, giving Dixon a chance to break in.

Knowing this could be a long, difficult conversation, Dixon made himself more comfortable and stretched one arm on top of the couch before responding. "I understand. I don't think anyone ever really gets past these things. They stick with us for life, and to some effect, that's a blessing. The pain remains, yes, but its sting diminishes with time."

"That's the thing that's killing me right now; having to wait for that time. And I can feel this anger inside of me building up; there's no sensible outlet for it either. When Sloane… killed Diane, you had someone to blame. For me, there's no one, nothing, and I don't know what to do with that."

Dixon's brow crinkled, and Vaughn could see the pain he was feeling reflecting in Dixon's eyes. He removed his arm from the couch and scooted closer to Vaughn. "I may have had an outlet for my anger, but that in no way means I was any more relieved because of it. In case you haven't noticed, my wife's murderer hasn't exactly been brought to justice."

"I'm sorry…"

Dixon waved his hand slightly. "I know. Forget it. Look," he sighed, "there's no getting around feeling like your heart was split in two; it just comes inevitably and stays for a while. It's what you do with yourself during that time that makes the difference. If you feel the need to take leave from work, then by all means do that; whatever you need to make this easier for you."

"Thanks, Dixon. I was actually thinking of visiting my mom for a while, maybe this week before the funeral."

"Well, good. Family can really help in times like these. I don't know what I would have done without Robin and Stephen to keep me grounded."

"Lauren and I never really talked about having children." Vaughn paused for a moment, and when he continued, he seemed to be looking past Dixon into his own world of memories. "Not long after we were married, I brought up the subject, but she dismissed it, saying that she wanted us to have time by ourselves for a while. I tried again a couple of weeks ago, but she said that our jobs would get in the way of really getting to watch our children grow up. She may have been right, but I guess I'll never know now."

He looked back at Dixon wistfully, returning from his thoughts of the past. "I guess I'm glad that we didn't have children who would've had to experience the pain of their mother dying, but still… I really wanted to have children, and I could see myself doing that with Lauren."

"You don't have to give up on your dream of having kids. You were once close with Sydney, weren't you? Maybe she's the next right person for you," Dixon offered, hoping to cheer Vaughn up a little.

Vaughn ran a hand through his hair. "I love Sydney. But, it's complicated. It's always been complicated, and I don't think I'm ready to carry that baggage again yet."

"But isn't denying your feelings for her complicated too? If you know that you love her now, you shouldn't put off acting on it. Who knows what other messes time will bring? Sometimes it's best to follow what your heart tells you instead of your head."

Vaughn raised his brows slightly in surprise. "Are you saying that I should get back together with Sydney right away?"

Dixon shook his head. "All I'm saying is listen to your gut instincts. And don't put off happiness when it's waiting for you to grab it."

"But, I feel like my instincts are wrong. Wanting to go back to Sydney so soon after Lauren's death just doesn't seem right to me. It seems disrespectful.

"But…" Vaughn paused, shocked at himself for actually revealing this to another person. "Even when Lauren was alive, I can't deny that I thought about Sydney, about what we would've had together had she not disappeared, and what we could've had when she came back. My thoughts weren't exactly faithful to Lauren while we were married. So, maybe you could say that I was never truly respectful of Lauren. But does that give me the right to continue that now? What kind of a husband would that make me? I just…" He ran a hand down his face in frustration. "I don't know what to do.

"There's this part of me that wants desperately to jump back into Sydney's arms, letting my love of her dilute my pain, and there's this other part that wants to stay true to Lauren, to give her a proper mourning."

"Respectfully, Vaughn," Dixon broke in, "trying to give the memory of Lauren a 'proper' mourning – whatever you think that is – will not make up for how good or bad your marriage was. Your wife is dead. Nothing you do now will change that."

Getting upset, Vaughn set his jaw. "I realize that, thank you, and I'm not trying to change that fact. I just don't the memory of her to be a haunting one due to my not getting proper closure."

"Then, if that's the most important thing to you right now, go with that thought," Dixon said simply.

Vaughn shook his head, seemingly disappointed in himself. "I don't know what's most important anymore." He paused and looked up at Dixon again. "I guess I'm back where I started."

"I wouldn't say that. I think you've talked through most of your confusion. The only thing to do now is make your choice."

Vaughn nodded, not having anything else to say. "Thank you for coming over." He shook Dixon's hand and saw him to the door.

_TBC_


	6. Dreams Aren't What They Used to Be

**A/N**: New chapter! Please enjoy and review. :-)_  
_

_Dreams Aren't What They Used to Be_

_Vaughn found himself walking along an empty boulevard. He didn't know how he got there; he only knew that he had to keep going forward. It was dark, save for the occasional street light, and a thin fog had closed in on the road, blurring the sight of the distance. He could feel the wind blowing from behind him, pushing him, guiding him, and his mind felt free from troubles and pain, but he also felt mildly confused as to why he wasn't thinking of anything or anyone. So, his state wasn't exactly blissful, just empty._

_He looked around briefly, suddenly curious as to why he was here, walking to an unknown destination; but something inside of him wanted to quell that thought. Whatever this feeling was, it was strong, it was certain, and it told him that there was a purpose to this journey, however long or seemingly pointless it presently may be._

_The path continued straight for some time – how long, he wasn't sure, because wherever he was, time was immeasurable, and there seemed to be no end to the fog. Despite his instinct, he couldn't help but wonder where this path was leading or why he was here alone. He wanted a real answer this time, so he stopped walking and looked at his surroundings again, turning around a few times so that he could be sure that he wasn't missing anything. Still, there was no information to be gathered from the fog and the empty pathway. So, he examined himself, glancing down at his shoes, bringing his gaze up his pants to his tee-shirt and jacket. Still finding nothing unusual, he glanced over his shoulder to his back, and when that turned up nothing, he stretched his arms out in front of him and brought his attention down his shoulders to his hands. That's when something caught his eye – a ring. His brow furrowed as he examined it more closely. _

_In the next instant, though, his eyes widened to their fullest and his heart tried to beat out his chest as he suddenly remembered **that night**… the night when his wife died and when a darkness began to overtake him. He was reliving it vividly in his mind, and now he could remember how much it felt like a dark fog had just swallowed him up, dooming him to a place with no beginning and no end._

_The vision ended, and he gasped for breath as he tried to remember what happened after that night. Try as he might, he couldn't think of anything that happened afterward. Did that mean that that painful night happened recently, even yesterday? If so, why had it taken him so long to remember? No, he was fairly certain that that night took place quite some time ago because presently, he was feeling no real pain or remorse over his wife's death. Even during the flashback, he was only reliving what he had been feeling, he wasn't presently grieving. But if that was true, how much time had passed since then, and why couldn't he remember any of it? And if enough time had passed for him to not feel pain over his wife's death, then why was he still wearing a wedding ring? Was he now married to someone else? To Sydney?_

_As soon as the idea popped into his head, he felt a long, strong gust of wind come up from behind him, and suddenly the fog ahead of him cleared, and Vaughn found himself at the entrance of two tunnels. One was dark, and the other was illuminated, and from what he could see, they led in opposite directions. So, he really had only one choice to make._

_Right or left?_

_As simple a choice as that would seem, Vaughn stayed glued to his spot, unable to decide. Though he was naturally drawn to the lightened tunnel, he couldn't help but wonder what was down the dark one. He knew that the dark tunnel would very likely be more dangerous, but there was a possibility that the light in the other tunnel was a lure to a trap… Maybe he was just being paranoid, but for such an apparently simple decision, there seemed to be a challenge in making the correct choice because there were still so many unknowns for each. Who knows where each tunnel led? Who knows what perils may have existed along the way one and not the other? Vaughn always had the choice to just turn back, but what was the point of returning to the fog and to a beginning that he couldn't even remember? It was obvious to him that he was meant to be here to make this decision, so he continued to weigh one tunnel against the other._

_Suddenly, however, the wind picked up from behind him again, so strongly this time that it made Vaughn have to set his feet to keep from being blown forward. The wind was blowing so hard that it began to howl, and Vaughn could have sworn he heard a howled word._

_**Choose**._

_Vaughn almost wanted to growl back that he couldn't make a choice while nearly being knocked over, but the wind didn't pay any heed to his annoyance. It continued to blow and repeatedly "howled" the word. So, Vaughn gritted his teeth and looked back at the tunnels, thinking simply, right or left?_

_Right or left?_

"Lauren or Sydney?"

Vaughn blinked several times at the light streaming in from his bedroom window. He sat up as he yawned and thought of bits of the dream he had. The more he tried to remember of what he dreamed however, the more the thoughts eluded him, until all he could remember was what he muttered as he woke up.

Lauren or Sydney?

He sighed and shook his head as he let himself fall back down to the pillow. He rubbed his face with his hand and told himself that he was going to drive himself insane if he kept this up. He got out of bed, changed clothes, ate a light breakfast, and went out for a run to clear his mind.

When he returned home, he decided to call his mom to tell her that he wanted to visit her.

"Maybe some time with her will keep me from losing it any more than I already have," he scoffed at himself as he picked up the phone.

_TBC_


End file.
